the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
