he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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