the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize