i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
