Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I understand Curling. That high.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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