even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
