I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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