need another drink. this is the easiest way
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
