I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
