He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
