I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
