she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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