Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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