Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize