I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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