I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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