Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
