what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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