16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
