We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
