but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
