Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
