i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
