just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
