what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize