Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
