Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
