NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize