she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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