the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
