i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize