your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wannas sexs uuuuu
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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