at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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