Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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