he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you inspire me to be a worse person
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can't put those talents on a resume
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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