I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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