I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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