If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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