She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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