did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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