i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Come share oat with me in your robe
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
