just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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