I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
