Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize