you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
