what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
