Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
