My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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