Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
