Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
