i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
