If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
