she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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