You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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